Friday, August 31, 2018

i think my boobs are broken. (part one)

not us

The Prelude:  I always imagined myself on a beautiful beach with the bluest water you’ve ever seen, with my baby at my breast, staring into the sunset. Bliss.  (Not Julia and Jude pictured above)

I took a class before we had Jude about breastfeeding. Breastfeeding 101. I don’t think it was actually called that but you totes get it. There was only like one dad in the class with his wife. Poor guy, it was painfully obvious that he felt out of place. I let Bryant off the hook for this one, I wasn’t going to force him to come to the class unless he really wanted to. He politely declined. The class was all about the benefits of breast milk, duh; they gave us handouts and showed us techniques for breastfeeding. We we’re warned not all babies take the breast, but I was like “eh, we got this!” …

I was sick the day Jude was born. I get this thing called “asthmatic bronchitis” when I get a simple cold, it goes into my lungs thus triggering my asthma. Dude(s) and dudette(s), I sound like a eighty-five year old lifetime smoker. It’s awful. [[I’m in trouble when Jude starts going to school and gets sick every week…#funnynotfunny]] Okay. So. I mention the cough that you may fully understand my situation. My birth plan (I can hear the mom’s out there chuckling about the “birth plan”) was no epidural, but partake in the nitrous oxide, but because of the cough the medical staff thought it best I didn’t get anything inhaled. Ugh stupid cough. I did not want the epidural because I thought I had a high pain tolerance. lol thought. Twelve hours into labor and super tired at this point, I gave in and got the epidural. Giving birth to Jude was traumatic. I will not go into the gory details don’t worry. Baby Jude was facing the wrong way coming out, silly goose, and just for more fun his umbilical cord was around his neck!! GULP!!! They had to do an ER episiotomy (btw an episiotomy was a huge NO on my birth plan!!). Don’t know what that is? Look it up.

Have fun. ::insert sarcasm here::

I blacked out about the time they handed Jude to me, I barely remember it :( But I could hear everything happening. It was like being in a dream. They immediately took him away, and start oxygen on me. I could hear our doctor barking orders and nurses scurrying around. I remember hearing my Jude crying. Needless to say the birth did not go as planned…

My birth plan was to create a calm, hypnobirth for Jude. No epidural. C-section before an episiotomy. I’d plan to give birth standing up. Calming music. Pretty lights. Be calm for the baby. Truthfully, I wanted a cesarean section birth, but my doctor denied it. (grrr) When labor started I would practiced my breathing, but then a coughing fit would happen and blew relaxing out the door. My husband came through with the ambiance in our hospital room. Calm music, spa style lights and lovely scents. The nurses said they liked our room best, because it was so zen and it was a crazy night. I was (am) very proud of my honey bear! <3 Marry a man who “gets” you.! Is the lesson here everyone. ;) 

Fast forward to I finally get to hold Jude! <3 He was so itty bity and cute. I said to him “hello, it’s nice to finally meet you” and he said nothing (cause he can’t talk) just looked at me with those huge alien eyes and cooed. <<SMITTEN>> I’ve been dreaming about that little nugget since I was in my twenties, and his name was always Jude. I even knew he’d have sandy blond hair. When Jude was born he had dark brown hair. I thought well, guess I was wrong about the light hair. I kid you not by twelve months the kid gots dirty blond hair and that’s how it stayed (so far). <3

Boobs,  you’re up!

My first breastfeeding Jude at the hospital was nerve-racking. He wouldn’t latch. I thought maybe my boobs were too big and scaring the little guy. It sounds silly now but it was a real concern, people. The hospital Lactation Consultant came in showed me how to latch. He latched. Like magic! But when it was him and I, it was always the same…he wouldn’t latch or when he did latch it was so painful (for me). Again the lactation consultant would come in, of course, he’d latch perfectly. So frustrating.

One blackout and blood transition later (for me, not Jude) they sent us home. With NO user manual or anything!! At home we still struggled with latching. Our mom guru (she knows who she is) recommended we rent a breast pump from The Pump Station. Jude seemed to prefer the bottle over my breast. [rude] *Bryant spent so much time at The Pump Station the first few days we brought Jude home, he probably could have worked there.* At Jude’s first doctors visit they recommended we do a combination of formula and breast milk.

I felt like I failed my little dude; I didn’t think that would happen so soon. to be continued…

 

 



from lactation « WordPress.com Tag Feed https://ift.tt/2NDPjkk
article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard

No comments:

Post a Comment