What Works for Us

Even before becoming a mother, I learned that moms can be some of the most judgmental people on the planet. This was one of the things that worried me long before having a child of my own. My husband says I have a fragile personality about some things. And he’s right. Because of this side of my personality, I used to think I wouldn’t be able to handle the social and peer aspects of parenting. Imaging myself and my kiddo hanging out at the playground with other moms and their kids made me want to puke just a little bit. I want no parts of the judgy and easily offended mom crowd who will find something wrong with every style of your parenting. I think these women fall into two categories: the ones who believe their way is superior, and those who generally don’t have any malice or superiority behind their comments and questions. I don’t mind the latter quite as much and can easily disregard them. For instance, my husband and I were checking out at the grocery store and he was feeding Jackson as I handled the bags and payment. The cashier was doing her share of oohing and aahing at the baby, and then looked at me saying, “you’re not breastfeeding??” To which I replied, “yeeeaah”, as I hurriedly returned my attention to the groceries. I know she was asking in a non accusatory tone, but at the same time, that very well could have been my breast milk in the bottle. It’s this revolutionary thing called pumping. 

That’s been a bit of a sore spot for me. I desperately wanted to breastfeed. I started in the hospital and greatly welcomed help from my nurse and the awesome lactation consultants. Since Jackson was so small, his latch suffered even after having his tongue tie clipped. On top of that, the LC informed me that the magnesium I was on would hinder my production. So then came supplementing. We supplemented for a few weeks, and I pumped at home. For a time, my production was greatly improving. But since he still couldn’t maintain his latch, pumping remained my only option and it still wasn’t enough. It got to the point where I worried if he was getting enough nutrition, plus I didn’t want him to associate me with stressful feeding situations. So I decided to go formula only. I struggled with an immense amount of guilt for this, especially after all the problems we had with finding him the best formula. I felt as though all of his tummy troubles were my fault and he’d be a much happier baby if only I could have successfully breastfed. 

Well, at 3 months old, he’s doing excellent. He has great weight gain and doesn’t suffer from anything that most babies don’t suffer from. I’ve decided to stop beating myself up for not being able to breastfeed. I still think of it as the first option, but at the end of the day, what’s most important is that your baby eats. Plenty of women don’t know the struggles some of us go though and how and why we came to the decisions we did. The last thing a mother needs is to be lectured on why what she’s doing is wrong. I parent my child the way I see fit and what works for us, while you should do the same and respect other people’s choices.

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article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard