Good Morning,
Yesterday when I was writing the post on orgasms, I triggered what I wanted to write about next when I was talking about breast or nipple orgasms.
As I mentioned before both my husband and I enjoyed my breasts while breastfeeding for different reasons. At the time, I found incorporating my breasts and sometimes my milk during sex both erotic and also slightly guilt inducing. I’m not sure why but I felt like I was taking something from my daughter even though the more milk that is used the more that is made. Eventually logic powered through and we carried on …:)
While I was pregnant I would look up erotica involving pregnant women (books, videos, etc.) not surprising because I was pregnant, and we as humans enjoy seeing ourselves in what we do, watch, read, etc. I also found myself thinking about sex after pregnancy while breastfeeding a lot. How would L react?, and I hoped he would like my milk. (I even find that hard to type, but I am refusing to feel shame about sex.)
As it turns out, my husband was thinking the very same things. He had the same interested and curiosities. This we did not discover until I was actually breastfeeding and we both were sexual turned on by the whole process. I did some research and it brought some understanding to my own sexual relationship with L and breastfeeding.
It is extremely common for women to be sexual aroused while breastfeeding, not just because biologically we are literately wired that way. (ie. nerves) but emotionally as well. My daughter and I struggled with breastfeeding, she hated latching and we fought everyday, every time she feed.This resulted in a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding her. I love every minute I got to feed her, and we did until she was 8 months old. Even though I understood the latching was her own aversion and had nothing to do with me personally I felt very defeated by all of it, and responsible.
Reflecting back on this time in our sexual relationship, I have discovered a connection between my struggles with breastfeeding and our sexual play. For myself I think using breastfeeding during sex was arousing because my partner enjoyed it, and I always find something arousing if my partner does. Also I think it was cathartic for me to be able to release and enjoy breastfeeding without the fighting and screaming that my daughter and I went through every day. Without realizing it, I believe L and I using breastfeeding in the bedroom allowed me some emotional time I needed to be able to have the strength to keep breastfeeding my daughter daily. Something that was very important to me.
While taboo, breastfeeding during sex or being aroused while breastfeeding is very NORMAL, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. I read a few fantastic articles and studies on this topic (I will list at the end of this post.) in some of these articles it has mentioned women stopping breastfeeding because they feel shame being aroused well breastfeeding. That breaks my heart, and really inspired me to write this post.
I understand the weird feeling with all of it, on one hand you are providing food for your child and on the other our body is telling us we are very turned on by this. I am glad I was able to allow myself to relax and enjoy both sides, mothering and sexual.
Wow this post just really became about me and not as fact driven as I intended. I guess I had more emotions around this subject then I thought.
Moral of the story kids is this, it is okay if you want to incorporate breastfeeding into your sexual relationship, in fact for me I think it was healing in a way. There is nothing wrong with you, your not sick, and it is natural…biological science folks. Some people have consensual relationships were breastfeeding is a permanent role.
L and I were fine when I stopped, but if I have another child in the future…I am pretty sure it would naturally develop again just as it did the first time.
Sources-
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article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard
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