A while ago I wrote about Freakling screaming in pain every night until 1.30am before finally crashing for sleep. We were waiting to see a paediatrician. Well, we saw that paediatrician, and honestly it was garbage.
We had a phone consult with a certified lactation consultant because I was sure Freakling had an upper lip tie causing issues – we were told not to worry.
We had a face to face private consultation with another certified lactation consultant which was recommended by a 3rd. We were told Freakling had a “mild tongue tie” and that they couldn’t feel what I could feel in Freaklings mouth.
I couldn’t get Freaklings top lip to flange during a feed – at all! It wasn’t physically possible.
I couldn’t put bonjela all the way along the outter gums because I would hit flesh half way along like her cheeks and gums were fused together (also known as a buccal tie).
Freaklings tongue was always white, but not like oral thrush.
I could hear Freakling clicking during feeds from day 1.
I could feel a weird tugging with every feed – but it didn’t hurt me, it just felt strange.
Freakling would scream, and cry Every. Single. Night.
Most nights panadol was needed.
The answers we would get from healthcare professionals – Specialists!!:
“It’s just witching hour” No… Just, no.
“Your baby needs to learn how to sleep” Bullshit. My baby needs someone to help.
“Get noise cancelling headphones for yourself, you need sleep too” Bullshit! I need my baby to be out of pain.
“You need to go to a sleep school for a week stay” BULLSHIT!
My baby is in PAIN… how do I know? Because when someone stabs Freaklings thigh with a needle the painful and distressed cry is exactly the same that we get every night.
We went to the 6 month checkup with the child health nurse, after getting really upset and desperately wanting help, we got the same response “can’t feel it” as though I’m crazy and looking for something that isn’t there. Again, teach baby to sleep…
This pain and need for panadol has been going on for SIX MONTHS! And the only medical professional listening to us is our GP. Because Freakling is thriving, developing well and I’m not in pain…
Freakling and I aren’t liking breastfeeding. This feels wrong. There is something so wrong and nobody is hearing us.
… One more time…
For Freakling.
For our relationship.
Please… if someone can just LISTEN to what is happening.
Once more…
We make an appointment with a dentist with an in house Lactation consultant. They specialise in ties, they advertise it… Please be different… Please SEE our baby as a small human who deserves to be seen and helped instead of shut away in a room alone…
“Come in next Thursday morning, you’ll see the Lactation Consultant first, then the Dentist, have a chat about any options to be considered if there are ties, they can be released that day if there are any”. Okay, not long to wait, we can do this!
The day!
I’m nervous as anything, what if they won’t help either?
I’m handed a form while we wait for the Lactation Consultant:
“Does it hurt you to feed?” No
“Does baby appear in pain with their tummy?” Yes
“Is there a pulling sensation while feeding?” Yes
“Does milk leak out of baby’s mouth while feeding?” Yes!
So many questions. The occasional No, but so many Yes’s.
The Lactation Consultant looks over the list, “These answers lead more towards a Lip Tie, but you’ve been told bub has a tongue tie?”
“Yes, but I can’t do bonjela properly and I can’t get the top lip to flange at all”
“Okay, let’s have a look in bubs mouth”
Freakling is happy and smiling, playing the the Lactation Consultant checks her tongue and bottom lip.
But when the top lip is lifted – the screaming starts. Freakling is fighting and screaming and trying to push hands away.
“I can see the gate you’re talking about, her cheeks are tied, and her upper lip is so restricted. It’s clearly painful having me check this.” She stops, tells me to cuddle Freakling while we talk.
“The tongue tie is really stretchy and shouldn’t be causing trouble, so I think we can leave that one. But the Upper Lip tie and the two cheek ties are tight and seem to be causing a lot of pain and discomfort. I’ll grab the dentist, we’ll have a chat.”
*Big breath* Someone is actually listening! Someome is seeing that this baby is NOT manipulative, this baby is asking for help!
The dentist comes in, we all talk, he advises, we agree. He needs to check so he can release the ties. Freakling screams again… But it’s quick, they know exactly how they will do this, and Freakling will be fine.
Freakling is wrapped up and taken away to another room, we will have a short wait, like 5 minutes and it will be done.
These ties are released with a laser and there are “exercises” to do to try to stop the ties reattaching during the healing process. 2 weeks and it should be all over. If there’s still trouble then we will release the tongue. Freakling shouldn’t need anything further because it looks like the right muscles are being used.
Freakling is so hungry, so once it’s over it’s time for a feed! With a swollen mouth, numb lip and experience of pain with feeding instead of comfort it is hard to get a latch! I’m trying not to cry, Freakling is so upset and we are hoping like mad that we made the right decision.
The first feed…
It feels… weird…
There’s no tugging
There’s no clicking
The letdown hits me hard!
Freaklings eyes are wide in amazement and wonder. Bright blue eyes are staring and then they ever so calmly fall closed. Asleep.
Time to heal and to rest.
The second feed
Amazing!
Flow is a bit too fast because none of the milk is falling out of the corner of Freakling’s mouth anymore.
Bright blue eyes looking up
A HUGE smile
Legs kicking in excitement!
This!
This is what I remember with Freaklet
THIS is what we are meant to feel!
At 7 months old, Freakling got 3 ties released and the change to her quality of life is Amazing!
Freakling is next level Happy! She looks forward to a feed and tries to move my top out of the way. She smiles and giggles while feeding. She does not scream in pain anymore!
I’m not being melodramatic when I say this:
If these people didn’t help and didn’t listen, I highly doubt we would still be breastfeeding because Freakling was not finding any comfort in this. But now, it is everything our instincts tell us it should be and we are all so so so grateful that they listened!
If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
Now, it feels right!
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article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard
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