I met my partner (now husband) only a little while ago, and after falling madly in love, we got married only a short time ago. Although I knew my husband was into a bit of kink and BDSM, I didn’t expect his personal desires to have such a strong impact on the next chapter of my life.
When we met I was a size 16 with D cup breasts, but he liked me that way he said. Not skinny, not fat, just about right. He always encouraged me to eat lots and although I did take care with myself and my looks, I soon put on a few kgs. Of course my breasts grew to, and now sit at a hefty DD. I didn’t realise that was actually part of his plan all along, but I was happy no matter what size I was.
Recently he sat me down one night for a chat about kinky sex and the BDSM world. He said straight out, that he wanted me to become a wet nurse. I was a little shocked to say the least. Of course I knew that wet nurses were common many years ago, to supplement breastmilk for babies whose mothers were not producing, or for the rich mothers who could afford to pay someone to do it. What I couldn’t work out was why he wanted ME to do that.
He stated in a firm voice that he wanted to force me to lactate.
To produce breastmilk.
To basically allow anyone or any animal to drink from me at any time.
To offer my milk to his friends and strangers, straight from the tap so to speak.
He further told me he wanted my breasts to be ‘ruined’. He said this means they are to be saggy, flabby milk bags on my chest. My breasts will never be the same again he told me. My nipples will enlarge from breastfeeding and become longer and more rubbery, stretch marks will appear on my skin, and he plans to have my breast tissue stretch internally, meaning they will hang low and heavy, especially when milk filled. They will have the ability to produce milk later in life also, as once you have lactate, it takes very little effort to re lactate.
I was horrified. What kind of man wants that for his wife, and what if he then found my breasts unattractive after he does all of that ?
I am quite open minded, and we certainly had some sessions of kink since we were together, but this was a whole new level of frightening. My breasts are private property in my mind, at least to myself and him only. To allow anyone to use them is a whole new story. To have them ruined was terrifying.
I asked him lots of questions, how, why, etc, and I got straight answers from him – it was what he wanted from his wife. It was also not negotiable. I did think for a while about where this would lead in our relationship, but he reassured me in terms of our love and the way he feels about me, nothing has changed. This was just to be an added dimension in our life that I have no choice in.
My next lot of questions related to the physical capability of my breasts to produce milk, I have never had children, so at first I didn’t quite get how it works. He was well researched in the process to follow, and gave me all the literature and websites I needed to learn about it myself. He gave me one week to get acquainted with the information. Armed with that info, I set about reading every page I could and every story I could find from someone who had done it. There was very little online about forced lactation, but there was lots about adoptive breastfeeding, which is technically the same process regardless.
At the end of the week we sat down again, and he asked me what I had learnt etc and asked me to tell him the process I would follow. I told him everything I could remember and he told me I would start the very next day.
I had a list of items I had to source the next day, and when my husband went to work, I got started. Several times I questioned my own actions, wondering if this was a path I really wanted to follow. The part about having them ruined was of most concern. I googled pictures of ruined breasts to see what they looked like. Most of them were definitely saggy, nipples pointing down, flapping around when the women bent over for example. I realised that was going to be me too.
We were going to use the protocol which included a drug called Domperidone, known to help lactating mothers increase their supply. I needed a Dr’s script so I made an appointment and saw the Dr the same afternoon. I had to tell the Dr we were planning to adopt a child, as I can’t imagine what would happen if I told him my husband was forcing me to be a milk machine. Also you need to get a bulk amount of the drug approved so the Dr was happy to help. That was easier than I expected.
I also had to buy fenugreek tablets, commonly recommended as a natural breastmilk enhancer. I had to order the double electric breast pump he had chosen online. I had to go shopping and buy the plainest maternity bra I could find. That was it just for now.
He set some rules of course too. Topless at all times except in situations where that would in inappropriate/illegal etc. Maternity bra to be worn when necessary (only at work basically). Pull my own nipples when he enters the room. You get the idea.
Therefore my first day was mostly preparation of my future life as a wet nurse with ruined breasts. I won’t write everyday, but I will tell you what happens to me next.
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article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard
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