You could go to all the parenting and breastfeeding classes you like pre-natal but they would never prepare you not being able to breastfeed.
All the classes were presented as ‘breastfeeding is best for your baby’. No alternatives were presented. None of them gave any information as to what to do if you can’t breastfeed. It was pretty much hammered into us that breast feeding is the only method of feeding your newborn. Period.
So just imagine when I realise I couldn’t. Well, it was more attributed to a very bad start and that kind of escalated. I got very angry and still very angry. Not only was I not able to birth my first born naturally, I couldn’t really breastfeed him in his first few days and weeks.
My partner got in contact with a lactation consultant to come visit us to see if she could help me to breastfeed. He knew how much I wanted to be able to do so and how I felt when I couldn’t.
A few reasons why I was having a hard time with milk not coming. The baby had a tongue tie that made it difficult for him to latch on. While in the hospital, my nipples were gnawed to shreds when I tried to feed him. Yet I persisted. I wanted the best for him. I had already lost valuable time bonding with him in his first hours.
It was also believed that it was due to the lack of contact in the first 24 – 48 hours and that formula was already introduced within 24 hours of his birth.
The baby’s tongue tie was corrected two days after he left the hospital. The paediatric surgeon basically took a pair of surgical scissors to it and snipped it off. The baby bled and cried for a bit and that was it. Most mothers would put their baby to the boob to comfort but due to my inability to nurse initially, all he did was bled all over my boob and tied for a bit.
The lactation consultant came to have a chat about my situation (the 30 minutes cost us about $200. She asked about the birth and how I was feeling. She had it all noted down in her laptop. She also observe how I nursed the baby and made suggestions on how to position the baby.
As my milk supply was very low, she referred us to see a lactation consultant GP to get a script to increase my supply.
We ended up seeing this GP for another 3 weeks but never saw the lactation consultant again. It was about $150 each visit so we spent quite a lot trying to get this to work. We paid for six weeks worth of phone and email consultations with the lactation consultant that we didn’t end up using.
The LC GP didn’t write the script for me the first visit as suggested by the lactation consultant. So another week of delay. She wanted to ‘see what happens’. No, my milk supply didn’t improve for another week. We went back the following week and she prescribed it to ‘see what happens’.
At the same time I was also trying fenugreek capsules. I was willing to try what I could to increase my supply. I just wanted to be able to nurse my baby.
Breastfeeding is hard. Not for all mothers but for a lot of mothers.
The best thing you could do is NOT to read any of those online groups. There is bound to be mothers who hop on there to tell everyone their pregnancy was perfect, the birth was quick and DRUGS-FREE, and breast-feeding was easy.
Well, when you read things like that, it makes you question yourself what the hell is wrong with you. Why can’t I? What is wrong with me?
The lactation consultant GP wanted us to see another paediatrician surgeon as she wasn’t convinced the tongue tie issue was solved completely. So off we went to another surgeon. She was quietly spoken and was so lovely. She had a look at the baby and explained that the tongue tie wasn’t snipped far enough and there was evidence of scar tissue. This could be the reason why the baby wasn’t latching on well.
To be honest, I am still unsure whether the second snip was of any help in improving the baby’s latch. We tried to put it down to the fact that he now has this new found freedom with his tongue so he is trying to stick it out further than he could before.
The reality is he is now pushing the nipple out and seems to have difficulty in creating a suction.
After 4 weeks of seeing the lactation consultant GP, she said to me that ‘it is ok to not breastfeed’ and ‘you’ve given it a good go’.
I didn’t give up. I am still nursing when I can. It’s been difficult but I have to keep trying. I am also expressing as often as I can.
The baby seems to have gotten very much used to bottles and having a hard time with trying to latch. It is so frustrating at times.
I tried to reduce the number of formula feeds per day. During the very early stage, my partner noticed the baby was waking up more often drinking breast milk than formula milk. So in order to get him to sleep for longer over night, he fed the baby formula milk.
I expressed when I got up to make his formula during the night. Whatever I could express, I fed to him when he woke up in the morning. At times, I could not express much so I had to combine a few sessions to make one feed. So even when he wouldn’t latch, he is still getting breast milk.
There have been times when he would feed perfectly. Most times he wouldn’t.
I am determined to keep breastfeeding, even though I am not doing so exclusively. I still have to mix feed – first thing in the morning before we get up for the day, and as much as possible during the day then supplement with expressed breast milk when he rejects the boob and formula feed overnight. I don’t know how long it will last but I will keep doing so for as long as I can.
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article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard
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