I’m not sure the taboos of this topic however, as any mother can attest, regardless of the method you choose (or baby chooses) feedings monopolize your life for the first year or two and beyond. Whether having the right supplies on hand or wearing the right clothing getting baby fed is an undertaking. We chose breastfeeding and I, like many moms, started it right away in the hospital.
Um. OUCH!
It hurt. Like terrible, squealing pain. Every time she latched I writhed under her until it was over and it didn’t last long.
My mom helped, I was given lots of advice but it just continued to hurt and I would cry through feedings every half hour as my skin tore, yes tore, and our Blueberry lost weight.
Three weeks into this ordeal I was sitting in my parents living room desperately trying to expel milk into a bottle to avoid the agony of a feeding and I began to realize something was wrong. I had assumed I was just bad at it, that it was harder than I had thought or that I was just being a baby about it all. But no, something was wrong. I called the doctor who set me up with a lactation consultant and went in for my first appointment. She took one look under my shirt and said
“oh my god honey, ok, it’s ok, we are going to fix this.”
Three weeks later, six consultations, nipple guards, pumping, ice packs, bacitracin, positioning, and a clipped tongue tie, we were back in business. Nursing was so good. Comforting, empowering, CHEAP! I was so thrilled that it didn’t hurt I never wanted to stop.
When it was just us and the Blueberry I was still working so when I wasn’t home nursing, or at work nursing when my bosses let me bring her in, I was at work pumping. That’s an odd experience to say the least. It’s loud, strange, dehumanizing at times and god forbid your coworker walks in. When the Raspberry was born I stayed home but she developed colic and I had dietary changes and occasional pumping through that as well.
I took to heart the recommendations from the WHO “From the age of 6 months, children should begin eating safe and adequate complementary foods while continuing to breastfeed for up to 2 years and beyond.” When the Blueberry was only 16 months I became pregnant again but continued nursing and when the Rasberry was born I tandem fed for another 8 months. The Raspberry and I just stopped nursing 6 months ago. I nursed one or the other or both for five years and now that it’s over I’ll admit I find it very strange.
There was something really wonderful about being able to get through those initial challenges and now on the other side of it I think about all the other aspects of motherhood that we are expected to do naturally or to manage simultaneously that seem so insurmountable but because we know we have to do it we just do. When you think of a mother who’s child doesn’t latch or when the milk doesn’t come or maybe their job or circumstance or desire requires them to use formula and they simply find the way to budget and mix and store and carry and supply that powdered gold 10 times a day because that’s what baby needs.
I wish that I could have avoided the pain of that clipped tongue tie for her but I’m really glad for the challenges that started my five year journey feeding my kids because those overcome obstacles are what I lean on when I have a day full of mom fails and can’t fall asleep.
I hope that if you are reading this and you had failures or challenges with your kids today that you reflect on those sleepless nights at the beginning when you had spilled milk (in whatever form) on your shirt and a contented sleeping baby in your arms with that little dribble coming out the side of their mouth and remember that you are doing something hard and you are giving more of yourself than you take credit for.
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article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard
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