I knew a very long time ago, before I had a kid, that I wanted to breastfeed. Mostly for the nutritional value but also to prove that I COULD do it. To show all the shamer’s that I could and would do it. I told myself that I would do it for a year. I WANTED to do it for a year. 1. The cost.. FREE!! 2. The health benefits.. priceless! 3. The bond between baby and mom… priceless. There were a lot of pros that I could see. I didn’t have to take a bottle and formula anywhere, I didn’t have to worry about if we were out, I could just nurse him anywhere, I ALWAYS had milk. What they really don’t tell you.. It’s hard.. It’s some very hard f’n work, being on call 24/7, watching what you eat, what bothers baby, gas, fussiness, sleeping, spitting up, pain, nipples bleeding, supply issues, pumping, it’s non-stop with breastfeeding, but it’s also the BEST! Breast is best =)
When Grayson was born, I was ready to learn how to do it. I wanted to start off successful. I made sure that I had lactation on speed dial. We were touch and go for awhile. Let’s just say this, Grayson has his daddy’s appetite. He was so frustrated because the milk wouldn’t come out fast enough. He would latch on really good and then he would be soooo mad because the milk wasn’t flowing. That’s when the problems really started. I was NOT going to give up. Thankful that I have a friend who is a lactation consultant at the hospital, I called her and asked for help. I was desperate and my baby was hungry. I went to her office and she helped me. Told me that everything was fine and that Grayson was just a very impatient little boy. I started using a nipple shield to help him.. I would fill it up with milk to get him started and then he would suck profusely trying to get more and then after about 15 to 20 seconds, the flood gates would open. Sometimes he would sound like he was drowning. He would suck so fast and for anyone that has never breastfed, the sounds are what you pay attention to. I was always listening carefully for the suck and swallow sounds. Then you would hear the milk hitting his empty belly. That sound always freaked me out because I thought he was just starving. He was eating every two hours on the nose so he was NOT starving, contrary to popular belief. He was also not a colicky baby, thank god. I can’t stand to hear him cry any time, so I don’t know what I would have done had he been colic.
We went for our 2 week post delivery check up and Grayson had not lost any weight, but hadn’t gained a whole lot either. His pediatrician sent us to the hospital to have some labs drawn because we were concerned with jaundice. His little skin was yellow around his face. Jaundice is fairly common with a breastfed baby. We had labs done and his bilirubin level was at 17.1. They would like it to be below 14 so we had some work to do. We had to get a bili-blanket for him to “wear” as much as possible. I had to nurse him every 2 hours and take his temperature every 2 hours. That meant we had to wake him if he was asleep to eat. Remember that old saying “NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY” ? We had to break a cardinal rule right out of the gate. Grayson was on the bili-blanket for 3 days. His level dropped to 13.5 and we were able to take him off of it. His poop was lime green/yellow. That was the bilirubin exiting his body.
Laying with daddy on his bili-blanket.. look at those shorts =)
Now, lets talk about their poop. Those first few poops are thick, tar like and yucky. There is no smell to them, they just are really sticky. Derek changed all of those diapers in the hospital. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t get up to change him just yet. Anyways, breastfed babies poop is weird. It’s really runny and yellow. Like diarrhea, but not even close. They have little seeds in them that look like sesame seeds. The smell.. it’s weird too because it’s like a sweet smelling poop. There is no foul odor, at least with Grayson’s there wasn’t. It was just yucky looking. When Grayson would poop, he would fart like a grown ass man. Loud, forceful and his face would be so stern and serious. He was cute when he pooped. We would laugh out loud at his farts. They were great. People who hadn’t been around him didn’t expect such a loud sound to come from such a sweet, adorable, cuddly baby.. HE GETS IT FROM HIS MOMMA!!!!
When you are breastfeeding, you don’t know how much your baby is taking in like you do with a bottle fed baby. You have to trust yourself and your baby, but regardless of that, I was so worried that he wasn’t getting enough to eat. You count wet and dirty diapers. As long as he was having 7-8 wet diapers a day and 1-2 dirty diapers, he was getting adequate food. As a mom, you want the absolute best for your baby. I was so worried that he wasn’t eating enough that I went and bought a scale so that I could do before and after weight checks. It’s funny because a bottle fed baby, you give them a bottle with 4 ounces in it, the will most likely eat the whole thing. Breastfed baby, you put a boob in their mouth and when they are done, they are done. I made myself sick thinking about how much he was taking. On average, a newborn will only take an ounce or less. Their stomachs are the size of a grape or marble. They gradually grow and are able to take more, but for now, it’s small amounts. After I got the scale home, we weighed him before nursing and after. He took 2 whole ounces. The next time I did a weight check he ate 3 ounces. The next time 1 ounce. Then there was one time he took SEVEN ounces. He was just over three months when that happened though. Breastfed babies usually don’t change how much they eat, it stays pretty consistent at between 3 and 5 ounces at a time, unless they are sick, teething, or starting solids. I still, after 4 months, question my supply. I have to trust myself and Grayson that he is getting what he needs. Now that I am back to work, I am pumping. One day this week, I pumped 14.. FOURTEEN ounces of milk in 4 sessions!!!! I was so proud of myself.
Did you know that your milk changes to meet your babies needs? It’s constantly changing as they grow. Boobs are soooo smart. When they are first born, your produce a tiny amount of what is called colostrum, ie: LIQUID FREAKING GOLD.. It is full of antibodies to help protect your tiny babies gut plus many other nutritional goodies that help start “immunizing” your baby. Once your mature milk comes in, it starts out as a pale white or even an almost bluish color and that’s foremilk. After about 7-10 minutes of nursing, comes the fattier hindmilk. I don’t know how they know it takes 7-10 minutes to get to the hindmilk, I guess it’s just an average, but some babies don’t nurse that long. Grayson started out nursing 45 minutes. That was his classroom time for learning how to nurse. Gradually, it lessened down to 10-15 minutes total. As they get older, they can nurse more efficiently. Think about it, they nurse every 2 hours sometimes 2 or sometimes even 1.5 hours. And that is from start to start. So if he started nursing at 10:00 am and he took 45 minutes to nurse and he was eating every 2 hours, he would start again at noon. Leaving not much time to eat, shower, nap, bathroom, pump, nothing really. I remember the first growth spurt he had at about 4 weeks, this kid stayed attached to my boob for what seemed like hours. SERIOUSLY …. HOOUUURRRRRS! I was exhausted. Your supply goes up with demand. He was sucking so much and so fast, that I had created an oversupply, which in turn made the let-down reflex so forceful.. he would get choked on milk. EEK, I hated that.
Milk Coma =)
The second hardest part for me was getting him to transition to a bottle. They recommend not starting until baby is at least 4 weeks old and has gotten the hang of breastfeeding. They say they can get nipple confusion. I didn’t try because I didn’t want to have that to worry about that too. I started giving him a paci though.. it took several different ones before he took one that he liked. Bottles…. TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY! My baby, loves his booby. We tried every different bottle on the market, Tommee Tippee, Nuk, MAM, Avent, Dr. Browns, Munchkin, and Playtex Nursers. He liked the MAM at first because that was the same as his paci. Then he hated it, then he liked it. It was different every day or should I say, every time we tried to give him a bottle. One thing that I wished we had done, was given him a bottle from the get go (4 weeks old) at night. Just one bottle a day would have spared so much mental anguish. They say mommy shouldn’t give them bottles because they know that that’s not right. I remember trying one time and he looked up at me and with those sweet eyes said, “Yo, mom what the F is this shit? This is NOT how we roll at all!” Babies are smart I tell ya. I tried to have Derek give him a bottle while I was in the shower, that didn’t work. My sister was able to give him one. Then my mom did, but she had a little trouble. But the one person that right now, seems to be the best at it, PawPaw! I have come to find that PawPaw is the “Baby Whisperer”. More on that later. The first week I went back to work, Grayson took a total, all 5 days, 5 oz from a bottle. It eventually got better as the next week came. He took 4 oz at his first bottle the second week. He is taking on average 10-12 oz a day from a bottle. He needs a total of 25-30 oz a day so we are on the right path. Some nights when I have gotten home, we spend a couple of hours on the couch nursing, but I am okay with that. He not only is hungry, but he misses his mommy.
Even now, at 4 months old, I still question my supply. I probably always will. My baby depends on me for everything. I hate it when I feel like I am letting him down, but I never am. He’s growing, eating , thriving and learning every day. We have our 4 month check up in a couple of days and he sure has changed. Just yesterday, January 14th, 2016, he cut 2 teeth. That is another blog in itself which will come soon. Until then, if you are breastfeeding now or want to breastfeed your new baby, do yourself a favor and EDUCATE yourself. It’s all a learning process. I would not change the fact that I am nurturing and bonding with my baby for a good nights sleep.. EVER. It’s hard f’n work, but so worth it.
Educating yourself:
Contact your OBGYN and they can also help you with finding a lactation consultant or the hospital where you deliver should have lactation on sight and available 24 hours a day.
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