Breast feeding in public

A friend recently told me another Mum had mentioned in passing, how confident I was with feeding Bowie in public. As a size 18/20, 5ft and 1/2 inch, thirty something who no longer has time to even put makeup on, let alone an outfit that didn’t look like most people’s pjs. I couldn’t work out what she meant. Pre baby I would have my nails done regularly, would wear full make up, hair done and I didn’t even own a pair of jogging bottoms. Yes for those that know me, I have always had a inner confidence and a “I don’t care what people think” attitude; but deep down I am an emotional person who since having Bowie can be anxious.

I can remember the first few times I took Bowie to be weighed at our local children’s centre. Either I was driven by my dad as I was still healing from the birth, or I convinced a friend to walk with me.

It wasn’t a case of being afraid of his weight or anything. It was leaving the house with a baby alone. It’s something I had never done before. The nervous feeling that I would be without something or something would go wrong, was unshakable. Eventually I went on to do this alone as well as attending breastfeeding groups.

Feeding Bowie in public has never been an issue or a worry for me. When he was first born my mother in law and her husband visited us, and I had no choice but to sit there topless at times, pumping on one boob whilst feeding on the other. I had a massive over supply as Bowie had a double tongue tie, so feeding was difficult (see my blog post Overcoming a tongue tie for more info).

The way I saw it was that breast feeding isn’t sexual or weird so why hide it? I mean I had a few strangers between my legs watching a baby come out of me a few weeks before!! Hands going all sorts of places, so someone seeing my boobs seemed like nothing!!!

Along with the support we got from the lactation consultant, going to breast feeding support groups gave me the chance to feed with other mothers and talk about the challenges we face. This was an amazing confidence boost as others would ask for our experience as well as sharing their own.

So fast forward a few months and I felt Bowie and I needed some company now that he was getting a little older. I saw they were doing a sensory xmas themed play group at my local children’s centre and I thought this would be fun.

I remember stressing about what we were both going to wear! Silly I know as most mums realise it’s a miracle to leave the house without puke on you. Again my weird insecurities worrying about the smallest thing.

I was nervous as other mums came in and seemed to be regulars, but Bowie happily starting to play with a silver space blanket in front of me, so i could try and relax and take in my new peers. Then the usual happened, he was hungry.

Now feeding Bowie isn’t subtle. I have to be in a chair with my legs crossed, or have my back against a wall with my legs raised to offer support to hold Bowie up. I have really big boobs also, so most breast feeding tops where you can just pull a little out don’t work for me. My nipples are facing south and well so a lot of breast is exposed to feed. Bowie isn’t a delicate feeder either, he lifts my boobs to get a better angle, taps them and suckles loudly at times. So either way, watching us feed you will get an eye full. At this point of our feeding journey Bowie had started pulling off suddenly and sitting up, leaving me with a boob, nipple and all hanging out and him just smiling at everyone. Being at group didn’t stop him either. He loves feeding so why would he be shy about enjoying his meal.

I was so glad to see another Mum sat there feeding her son at playgroup. That moment of a little smile and a nod between us was the start of our friendship.

I am so glad I did it and now everytime either of us has to feed our little ones there isn’t that moment where you hesitate or look around to read the room before doing so. It just happens.

I must say out and about seems it will be harder than at children’s centre but I was surprised that it isn’t.

Both Bluewater and Stratford shopping centres have great family rooms and feeding rooms, if you breast feed or bottle feed there is space for you to do so. Both offer private or shared spaces depending on how comfortable you are.

Yes I’m sure I get the odd look… mainly from bottle fed kids that don’t understand what I’m doing. As they have never seen it before. Sadly also we have had unwanted attention on our instagram from weird men who sexualised my photos of feeding. I just block and ignore them. Mainly feeding has become second nature for me and doing it in public for the most part it isn’t really a big deal. Maybe my confidence and energy stops people from questioning me feeding as I’m not nervous when doing so.

Now I know I’m lucky and some mums have had awful experiences feeding in public and others for what ever reason cannot or choose not to feed directly from the breast. I’m not saying what I do is for everyone and I’m not saying others who do it their way are wrong. I’m just all for the normalisation of breast feeding in public.

I personally will breast feed anywhere and will not cover up. I have done so on packed trains, buses, swimming pools, restaurants and pubs. I don’t do this out of wanting sexual attention or praise or any other weird reason, other than my son is hungry, and it isn’t weird to feed him when he wants to eat. This shouldn’t be hidden or a private moment either. So I say don’t be afraid and take pride in looking after your child. So next time you see a Mum trying to feed in public, whether it be from her breast or a bottle give her a little smile, it will make her day!!!

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