Cherry Street Market, Seattle WA — That’s right students! Rudy the Redhawk has started lactating again and he will be at C-street until the milk runs dry. Make sure you bring a cup and a strong thirst because boy-oh-boy is Rudy’s milk good! For those new students among us, here are a few pointers and a little background on this famous occasion.
First, do not put your mouth directly on Rudy’s udder! This will make him mad and could lead him to storm off and would deprive everyone of the delicious frothy nectar. Instead, make sure you squeeze the bag-like organ until your cup is full.
Second, Rudy’s lactation cycle is irregular, so if you have class during this time we advise you to skip it because no one knows when Rudy could be lactating again. Remember it’s also only one cup per person!
Third, be patient! There will be lots of people in line and the liquid ambrosia comes out boiling, so make sure you put it in the refrigerator until it is a drinkable temperature. You don’t want to end up like Father Juseppi, Father “Steve-daddy” Sundborg’s predecessor who was scalded by the delicious milk.
Finally, hold your nose. Rudy’s warm secretion often smells of a combination of wet dog, sriracha, and bistro pizza. This is completely natural and just goes to show how dedicated Rudy is to Seattle University’s athletics!
If you have any further questions about the decadent udder pus from our hero Rudy, please direct them to your SGSU representatives. Their contact information can be found here: https://www.seattleu.edu/sgsu/about-sgsu/
Cheers!
Mark Wilson (writer emeritus)
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article sponsered by Northern Michigan certified lactation consulting and Mother Hubbards Country Cupboard
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