Envy
It can be very damaging to constantly compare yourself to others. It can lead to desiring for others not to have the things you want. It can lead you to doing stupid things like destroying what others have or even harming or killing others that you envy. Look at Cain and Abel. Cain envied Abel so much that he lead him into a field and killed him there. You see others with new cars, nice clothes, impressive talents. You think they are so blessed and what you could do if you had even half what they have. If you start looking at what others have, you stop seeing what you have. This can lead you to jealousy. You start desiring what others have so much that it leads to resentment towards them. It can damage your relationships with them. It can damage your state of mind as well. You start thinking what is wrong with you. That there must be something wrong or you would have these things. Or these skills. They achieved it so why can’t you. Since you haven’t there must be something wrong with you. These can be dangerous paths to stumble down. You stop seeing what you do have in your life and focus on what you don’t have and what you achieve will not seem like success.
You have to stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone is unique. Everyone has their own talents that are important. We are all part of something much bigger and everyone is important. You just are not on the same path as them. Doesn’t mean your achievements are any less important.
Here is an experiment for you to help get things in perspective.
Count your blessings.
Make a list of things you have achieved grand or small.
Make a list of things you have. Start with the most expensive (home, apartment, car, big screen) Whatever and go down to the smaller things.
Make a list of the friends you have and the family you have. (be sure to put God on this list)
Make a list of your skills, things your good at no matter how mundane they seem. (making a loop with your tong. I can’t do it.)
Greed
Greed can be a dangerous emotion. To desire everything. It can be easy to fall into if you are the kind of person that is an impulse buyer. Buying things to make you feel better. To get that little rush from getting something new. It can become a crutch. It can also lead to very bad results. You can set up your budget, have everything set up and in place, You got it all worked out, then something bad happens. You have a really crappy day, you are feeling very low and crappy. You spot some shiny thing, you like it you want it and that little nagging voice pops into your head and you crave it and buy it. It puts you over drawn and a check bounces. Like dominoes it puts you behind on your bills and you end up paying late fees and over draft charges. Now you are really in debt. This not the case for everyone obviously, but it is true for some and it can be a trap for all of us. You can end up spending money you don’t have. But it is not just spending, greed can impair you life. Look at hoarders. Compiling so much stuff and spending so much time obsessing over it. It can take so much of your time you forget to live and it can take up a lot of your space. So much that you have no room to move. I’ve heard a story of someone dying because some of it had fallen over one them and they couldn’t get out. Reminds me of when a shelf fell on my brother. My dad was kind of a hoarder, but not to that extent exactly. He wanted everything he saw and spent a lot of money on it and even ran up several credit cards getting it. He had stuff stuffed away in boxes and drawers and anywhere he could put it. We are still paying on his credit cards. We are still tripping over some of his stuff. If he saw something he wanted he would try to get them to sell it to him. If they didn’t he would get really mad. Sometimes even cussing them, because he didn’t get what he wanted. Things he had no use for and we would never use. He believed it would somehow make his life better, or to just be able to tell people he had it. Like his Cadillac, He loved to tell people he had it. It didn’t run and it sat there for a long time, but he had it. Along with other cars that didn’t run and or were not good for much more than junking.
While we are on the subject of money. Finances are the number one cause of divorce. Money problems bring a lot of stress into a relationship. Couples need to come together when it comes to budgeting. Where your treasure is, your heart will be also. What you do with money tell a story of who you are and where your values are.
Also on another note. If you are someone who is struggling financially, you need to remember this about your spouse, for a woman money represents security. If you don’t have any put back or not coming in, they are facing terror. They are scared. They are in a frightened state, even if they are not outwardly showing it. For men ,ladies, if you are having financial trouble, He is not feeling like a provider. He is failing in his husbandly duties. This is making him feel insecure. He may feel on edge and if you don’t give each other understanding or it can erupt into something dangerous. You need to reassure each other. Touch is a powerful sense. A non-sexual touch (non-sexual) like a hug or shoulder touch can be very powerful. Especially for women. What you really need to do is set a budget. You have to come together. Agree on where your money is going. Agree to it and stick to it.
I have a friend at work, who has a wife who does all the budgeting and she gives him something like an allowance. She tells him how much he can spend per week and that is all. He is fine with it. He likes it this way. I guess it works for them. I would encourage you however to be involved. It can strengthen your relationship. It can provide unity.
Experiment time
Set a Budget.
Get together and figure your weekly income or close approximate. Get your bills together and see when the due date are and set a weekly budget and a monthly budget. Figure up what is spent, what is for spending, and what is set aside for saving. It will provide a sense of security and a sense of accomplished duty and responsibility.
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